Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
