My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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