is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
