Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
