He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
