I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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