Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
