I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
