So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
