You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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