I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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