Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i will never coherently bang her
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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