He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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