i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
