remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
