I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
