saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
