i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
