at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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