I wish I could teleport
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
