She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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