i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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