Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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