did you get engaged???
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
