This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
