I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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