oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
