I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
