Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
