This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
