sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
