I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
