so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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