If that was your dad, he is hot
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
