Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
