the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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