He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
