I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
