it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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