do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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