There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
