I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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