Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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