This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
