Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
