i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize