is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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