I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
