The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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