so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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