"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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