And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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