i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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